I still don't know what to think about today. I woke up, had the flu, called in sick to work and was told to turn the TV on. Watched all day. Talked to friends and family on the phone. Around lunchtime, I started walking downtown - not really going anywhere. I just couldn't sit still at home watching TV anymore.

I ended up at the university where I dropped by the office of my favourite theology professor. I seem to end up there a lot when I'm not sure where else to go... Anyway, she had spent the morning at a workshop in the North End of Winnipeg with aboriginal leaders. Her comment... no one there seemed to bat an eyelash. At the end of the day, World Trade Centre or no WTC, their communities were still living in poverty. It was only when she arrived at the university that she started to feel the shock/nervous anticipation/anger that has hit the globalized world.

Some part of me takes all of this very personally. I feel like I have failed somehow. A hell of a lot of people have invested a hell of a lot of time and resources in educating me, giving me opportunities to travel and meet people from all over the world. Even more people have paid the taxes that fund my work to communicate about alternative solutions, about ways to make the world a better place. But, it hasn't been enough. There are still millions of people out there that share in the kind of poverty and despair that allows one to dehumanize others and perpetrate acts of violence - both the large-scale visible ones like we saw today, and the invisible daily ones as people die of preventable diseases and malnutrition because we had other things we wanted to spend our money on.

All I know is that deep down inside, I feel like if this feeds the anti-globalization movement, we have all lost. Anti = hate. And hate never got the world one step closer to being a place we can all live in together. It's much harder to articulate what each of us is for and to live out of that feeling... but, we have to try. There is simply no other choice.